Year end jitters

December always feels overwhelming. A billion apps buzz with year-end wrap-ups, showcasing highlights and milestones. My social media feeds are flooded with achievements—people sharing their successes and celebrating their growth. Honestly, I’ve done that too. I even planned to make one this year, but every time I scrolled through my gallery, I felt a wave of emotions—gratitude, nostalgia, and yes, comparison. This year has been hard, but it’s also been full of moments of joy. Because isn’t that the beauty of life? To truly savour happiness, you need to have felt sadness. Without contrast, would the good moments mean as much?

This year was different because not much changed over the course of it. Until 2023, I was a student, and every year brought some significant change. But this year gave me my first real glimpse into adulthood, where time seems to pass faster than it feels (iykyk). No one really prepares you for adulting, and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this iceberg they call adulthood. December has been a whirlwind of late-night bursts of productivity that fade almost as quickly as they arrive. This year hasn’t just been tough for me; many of my friends felt like nothing was going their way either. It was a year of challenges, moments when it felt like the universe had turned its back on us.

As I sat down to reflect on the year, I struggled to list quantifiable achievements. Instead, what stood out were the shocks, the unexpected turns. Why is it that as humans, we tend to remember the hard and negative things first? But if this year taught me anything, it’s how to face those shocks, how to process failures. Maybe that’s what adulting really is—building resilience, learning to slow down, and giving yourself the grace to heal.

This year, I’ve learned more about myself than ever before. Consciously or not, I let go of people and things that no longer served me. I stood up for myself more often, embraced the art of letting go, and allowed myself to truly feel my emotions instead of burying them or masking them with distractions. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary - like a butterfly breaking free from its cocoon, shedding its old self to grow into something new and stronger.

People often comment on how perfect my life looks on Instagram. But that’s just a fraction of the story—less than 1%. Beneath the surface lies so much more: silent battles, unspoken fears, and countless moments of doubt. Despite it all, I tried my best to hold on to gratitude and reminded myself how blessed I was to have my family and friends by my side

I even started therapy to just understand myself. And while not everything is fixed—in fact, most things feel more broken and scattered than ever—I’ve come to realize that’s okay. Not every day is positive, and the glass isn’t always half full. But I’ve learned that what truly matters is getting to a place where you can see it for what it is, in your own time.

Not everyone blooms in the same way, and that’s okay too. Everything happens in its own season. What really matters is staying true to the things that light you up, even when it feels like the world is against you. It’s about honouring the days when you need to rest, listening to your mind and body, and trusting that one day, it will all make sense.

So as we enter 2025, remember that even though some of us didn’t achieve everything we set out to, perhaps all we did this year was get by. The only thing that matters is that we tried our best, and we'll try again in 2025. Just remember, "Khel mein haar jeet lagi rehti hai… afsos woh karta hai jinka khel khatam ho gaya ho."

Here’s a super cool piece of art I stumbled upon—it’s a sweet reminder to embrace my own little quirky self!